The Shadow, part 2, the Rape

-1 As she wallows down the streets,
Remorcing her own sufferings,
as she looks back on the day,
the more she now realizes,
-5 the more pain she relishes,
the pain she finally understands,
that even though her mother was dead,
she was still there.
-9 That day, the sun shone over the Big M,
where the toilet paper blew in the wind,
where it was casted on that night,
the night of her biggest mistake.
-17 She wore a long skirt,
with a Bartender's corset,
her face be clean,
but, her father tainted.
-21 for the Daughter to go out,
the Guardian had to be sober,
for if they went to an unsafe street,
the Guardian could direct her home.
-25 but, this night was different,
papa's expression all beyond sober,
his paper bag drenched in a stench,
while he drank in sips.
-29 She didn't worry about herself for a second,
in fact, she anticipated this moment,
for now, she could go without her father,
and meet up with Benny.
-33 He was her boyfriend,
who came from America with his pa,
His pa being, in some degree,
An anti feminist.
-37 But, this apple from the tree was different,
he cared about her,
he hung out when he could,
And planned to meet up with her when he couldn't.
-41 They had planned for this night,
since Pprimra had called before she left,
before leaving the house with her father,
who now swirved in the streets.
-45 She led her father to a bench,
where he laid down his paper bag,
down by the sidewalk next to the Pigeons,
Cooing gaily at their new friend.
-49 "Wait here for me, pa." she warned,
"Whah... Shlouke, I am your father! come bacsh!" was all he could utter,
before he gave a delightful chuckle,
and passed out on the bench.
-53 She started to leave, but, turned back around,
taking off her long cloak, a dark black Vigour,
as she set it on him and tucked it in around him,
"Dear lord," She praid," Please don't let a cop see him tonight."
-57 She started down the street,
looking at a rat going down the alley,
she started to follow it,
amused with its skinny tail, straight into an alley.
-61 she noticed where she was,
the high, concrete buildings on Both sides,
dark, horrid walls surrounding her
as if the walls were closing in.
-65 Cunfusion, Nausea,
uncalled thoughts entered and left her mind,
stunning her, her head throbbing,
and she turned to leave this confusion.
-69 But, someone was there,
shoulder's slim and meak,
his arms be wiry,
and his head be angled and sharp.
-73 he had a tattered shirt,
with a brown bag of Bigman Beer,
with the same stinch as her father's,
but this man was no father.
-77 "Well, you look nice and warm there, luv." He snickered,
"now, don't worry. I'm not going to hurt you."
He leaned in closer, being a pace away,
"I have something for you."
-81 She didnt want to know what it was,
being trapped in the end of an alley,
all that she wanted to do was run away,
and be trapped not in an alley, but in Benny's arms,
-85 But, it was too late, for the man pounced on her,
apparently strong for his looks,
he pushed her onto a wall,
and leaned his face close to hers.
"Let me go." She sneered through her teeth,
"Oh, now don't be harsh now, luv." he hissed,
springing out a pocketknife,
"I'm not going to hurt you, not yet."
-93 Holding up the knife, he had a hand open,
he unzipped his pants, pulled them down,
pulled up her skirt,
and leaned against her.
-97 5 minutes later,
she was on the ground, her head by the tin trash cans,
whimpering in sorrow,
the man still on top of her.
-101She was afraid it would never end,
when she heard a familiar voice,
she heard him mumbling about how she was late,
how roses might as well have died.
-105 "Benny! Help. Help!" Was all she could scream,
Before the man covered her mouth,
But, it was too late,
he was already there.
-109 Benny jumped on the man,
punching and cursing, swearing on his life,
Pprimra crawled away, curling into a ball in the corner,
afraid to stay, afraid to leave, afraid to move.
-113Finally, after the man left,
Pprimra felt a hand on her shoulder,
she puled up her skirt,
and accepted his warm coat with gratitude.

-117"It's going to happen, you know," He finally said,
as they crossed the bridge,
"Who do you want it to be, him... or me?"
"You know it's you," She whimpered,
-121 the question was easily answered,
allow the man's semen to seep in,
or take a chance with Benny,
and have a father for her Child. -124

Part 1; Abandonment?

Remember the content warning, and enjoy.

The shadow, Pt 1, Abandonment?

-1. The Shadow, remorseless and undead,

Oblivious to the Joys around her,

Flying hopes like a brick,

Sinking deeper into the abyss.

-5. Her soul wallows around,

A black pit of hopelessness,

No aura surrounding her body,

So shallow and meek.

-9. Her wrists are pale,

With long red scabs from her pains.

Her eyes are purple and dark,

from Anxiety and loss of sleep.

-13. She lingers in the doorway of life,

Screaming, “let me go,”

Until her future shattered her hopes,

and led her death astray.

-17. When life is too harsh,

Too Painful, and pitiful, as it is known to be,

She would wander in the streets,

And whimpers to her please.

-21. while on the road,

When no cars passed by,

She would hush away her misery,

With songs from her moments of peace.

-25. She’d sing of her past,

Grey as the sky above her London home,

She’d cry for herself,

Whom she despised more than God himself.

-29. Because for her lack of self esteem,

Her being, her cursed Spirit,

For herself to be herself,

She would walk in the streets.

-33. For in these streets,

Her place of inner stealth,

She would rid her horrors,

And cry a collection,

-37. a collection of Songs she used to hear,

In her Childhood, from Her mother,

Whose voice was warm like a grizzly bear,

and soft as a pillow.

-41. But, that was before the accident occurred.

The day before the accident,

Pprimra waited on the porch,

Wearing a blue T-shirt, faint as the skies.

-45. It was early spring,

The Flowers blooming out of the not yet melted snow,

In the garden, next to the garage,

Innocently waiting for Pprimra’s mother to give them drink.

-49. Pprimra watched as her mother pulled up to the driveway,

And saw her come out,

Fashioning a bright yellow blouse and trousers,

Looking like the sun itself.

-53. Running to her mother,

Primra’s face was content, but smiling nonetheless,

For she was only happy with her mother,

Being the only role model she had.

-57. The Woman hugged her daughter,

Feeling a gap between Pprimra and herself,

Looking down, and giggling,

For she had forgotten about the baby.

-61 “you want to watch the sunrise tomorrow, dear?” She questioned,

“Why, sure, mum.” She answered,

Carrying her mother’s briefcase inside,

While her father came out.

-65. “It’s been 7 months, dear,” He warned,

“Any news from Dr. Meyers?”

“no, not yet,” Her mother answered,

“I’m actually a bit worried,

-69. What could be going on in there?” she looked to her belly,

She entered the house after him,

Her smile faded, her joy evading the present,

For now, she was worried.

-73. The next morning, very early,

When the sky was still dark,

Pprimra awoke to her mother’s voice,

“Now, remember our rule?” she said.

-77. “yes, mama. Don’t watch the sunrise without you.” She murmered.

She started getting dressed, and all of a normal morning.

She got to the table and asked, “Should I make breakfast?”.

Her mother got up and looked around,

-81. But, to her dismay, there was nothing to eat.

“I’ll get some Mcdonalds,” She spoke,” Be right back, luv.”,

She left with 10 pounds,

And Pprimra waited at the table, for her mother to come back.

-85. she waited, and waited,

By the table and all,

She waited, and waited,

For her mother to call.

-89. After what seemed like an Hour,

She looked out of the window,

And the sun was just about to pop over the river,

When the phone rang.

-93. Being up at the time,

Her father picked it up.

“hello?” He said groggily, “Yes, that’s me,”

“If you want to prank call at this ungodly hour, I’m calling the cops!”

-97. But his anger soon faded,

And his face showed not a red vigor,

But a paler, sweaty, sick face,

With an aura of sadness.

-101. a while later, they were at the Mcdonalds,

Across the police tape, laid out around the building,

Past the audience, blocked off by police cars,

Standing at the cash register,

-105. looking at the sprawled body,

Her stomach bulging,

Her 10 pounds still in her hand,

Mama’s hand, Mama’s 10 pounds.

-109. Still shocked, she couldn’t understand many “why’s”,

Why mama was bleeding and not crying,

Why dad never cried in her presence.

But, she understood one thing,

-113. That mama kept her promise,

That they would watch the sunrise together,

But, now, mama was dead, a victim of a hold up,

With a bullet in her head.

-117. for a long time, she grew up never trustng anyone,

Never allowing another cruel mind, spare her pa,

To enter her heart,

And her warm embrace.

-121. And also,

Keeping her part of the deal,

That she would never, until tomorrow,

See the sunrise without her.

-125 And so, down the street she wallows,

Remorcing her griefs;

As a mortal, she praised life,

as a Shadow, she longed for death. -128

CONTENT WARNING.

Welcome to "The Shadow", by Neautique Narcia.

*This poem is not based on my own story.
*This series is based on past references of my CLOSE and CONFIDENTIAL friends (who are not associated with the making of this poem).
*this is a Neautique's Crappy Special. The content in this poem or any poem of my work will not be copied and/or distributed without my Content/permission.
*This IS copyrighted.

Just a few heads up before reading the poem.
Thank you, and Have patience while I finish up on the poem.